I hear it all the time, women don’t want friendship with other women because women are petty, jealous, will sleep with your man, have attitudes, and whatever other stereotypes people use. I do love drama, but I don’t have any. That’s why I enjoy K-dramas because I can turn them off when I want to. I love tea. I just don’t have any.
I feel like we are thinking about this the wrong way. If you don’t have drama, if you wouldn’t sleep with someone’s man, and aren’t petty or jealous, why automatically assume this of other women?
Yes, I understand that there are women who are those things, but imagine that someone saw you and thought you were this kind of person. Then you had to prove you aren’t and are worthy of their friendship.
Give people a chance. I’m not saying open up your home to a stranger or anything but give people space so that you can learn who they are. Be like Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” The thing is you will never learn who they are if you don’t give them a chance. Everybody isn’t great but you’ll never meet people if you don’t try.
I couldn’t imagine my life without Black women my own age and older. Going out, with my girls in our twenties. Being defended by upperclassmen, I didn’t even know well when I changed high schools. Going out with the girls having a girl’s night. We are showing out in public, and we had so much fun. Or now going out in cute and feminine in our thirties then hitting the arcade playing music-based games. And maybe that’s not what you’re into, but you can find women who like what you like.
We all aren’t going out for bobba and that’s ok?
You gotta love what you love, and find people who share those things in common. Women who can just suck your teeth together, when your hair isn’t doing the right thing. Or just you know, moisturizing a friend’s hair when they’ve had a hard day. Or being at an event where there are no Black people there and one of your besties just show up and you exchange the Black nod/glance. And everything becomes well with the world.
Make girlfriends sis, men aren’t as fun as we are. We need girls’ trips and events. It’s just another added thing to make like more fun.