Small things to be a better partner to a woman part 1: Not eating her food

Don’t eat her food without asking.

It sounds so simple, and yet so many men fail at this every day. Fathers and sons consistently disrespect boundaries.

Isn’t it just food? Why is it such a big deal?

Imagine you went to your favorite restaurant yesterday with your partner. You have your favorite meal. The portions are so big, you have enough to eat tomorrow. While at work you think all day about that meal. You imagine biting into it. And you rush home to your food.

But when you get home, it’s gone.

Your partner ate it. Why? Because they were hungry and it was there. You ask them why they ate your food. They say they ate it because it was there. They shrug and say they didn’t even enjoy it, but they were hungry. Your excitement and anticipation built up from all day are gone. You ask them not to do it again, and they agree.

But you both know that they’re lying. And that given the opportunity and their hunger. They’ll do it again. And although you hate it, you love them. That’s how some women live. Knowing they can’t have food for themselves because the man in their life won’t respect a simple boundary.

You may not see it as a big deal, but you’re not being able to respect something so small tells a lot about you as a person. And how you value your partner.

Not eating someone’s food is one of the simplest ways you can show a person that you respect their things. How hard is it to say “hey baby I’m hungry, can I eat your [food item]?”.And genuinely accept the answer yes or no because it’s not yours, and you’re not entitled to someone’s food.

It’s a basic concept that I wished more men could grasp. It’s something that I consistently hear women complain about. Especially women during their pregnancies Yes, even during pregnancy no meal is respected or safe.

Be the guy that lets his lady come home and enjoy their food.Just be better.

[If you have siblings or parents who did this while you were growing up. You know how it feels, so don’t put someone else threw it.]

Is the person ungrateful or are you a inconsiderate partner? part 2

Let’s say that you are really into designer brands, you love high-end fashion and looking good. You’re finally making the kind of money you dream of, and you decide to buy a nice gift for your partner. Let’s say a purse, it’s a great brand, it’s expensive, and you give it to them. And they say thank you. They wear it the next day. And then you don’t see it again.

Months pass, and you find the purse deep in the closet still in its dust bag. And you ask them why they don’t wear it. And they tell you that it’s very expensive, so they don’t want to wear it too much. You tell them that you bought it for them to wear. They try to explain that it’s not their style, and they aren’t even sure how to make it work with their wardrobe.

You get angry and can’t understand why they don’t appreciate what you got them, why are they so ungrateful?

BUT… I have a question.

Is the person you spent thousands of dollars on even interested in the item you bought “for them”? Think about it, if you gave them the money instead, would they have bought it? Is it a dream item for them, or is it something you would like them to have, because it matches your style?

Because there are women who dream of expensive items and can’t afford them. And there are those who even if they had the money wouldn’t. They see it as a waste.

What’s important is knowing which person you are with. The person who dreams of a designer purse or the person who wouldn’t buy it even if they had the money.

If this is their dream item and they’d buy it if they had, it’s a great gift. But as it seems, this isn’t something that they would buy if they had the extra money. So if you have the money to buy an expensive item for your partner. I have to ask why wouldn’t you choose something that you know they would love. Why buy them something that you love. Why wouldn’t you choose an item that you know they’d enjoy?

AND

If their love language isn’t gifts, that changes the whole scenario. Because this actually doesn’t work as well if their love language, is anything else. And you really do need to tailor the way you love them to how they want to receive love. Not how you wish to love them.

Imagine spending that money on someone who has begged you for a weekend away because of how busy both of you are. Or even less just letting them sleep while you feed the baby. Not everybody wants grand gestures. Some poeple would much prefer consistent little gestures.

The sooner you learn how to love them, the happier ya’ll will be.

Part 1.1

Greenflags in a relationships: part 5

A person with a dependable healthy friend group.

I know people may not like it, but your friends are a good indicator of where you are going in life. We judge books by their covers over here. Because that cover and sleeve tell you what the book is about.

A dependable healthy friend group is one of the best things that you can have in life. And more often than not, people are a reflection of who they hang around. Nothing is going to be as consistently inspiring then friends who are constantly pushing you to be your best at all times. They don’t even have to push sometimes. People whom you love doing their best are inspirational.

Now, let’s say that your partner isn’t as emotionally healthy as their friends, I guarantee you they are in a much better place than if we flip.

Let’s flip it.

Imagine we have an emotionally healthy dependable person, in a friend group in which no one else is. I hate to say it but that person is in danger of being dragged down vs being lifted up. And to be fair people realizing that their friend groups aren’t good places are often why people leave friend groups.

So even if your person isn’t where they want to be in life or where they want to stand emotionally; having friends around them that constantly walk in bettering themselves. Is a bonus in life for them. And quiet as kept, it’s a bonus for you too. So not only do you get a person who is consistently being inspired to grow. You gain people who want the best for you.

WHY?

Because they want their friend to be happy, and encouraging you does that too. And in time, you gain people that will cheer you on for the rest of your life.

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