Is it really a big deal if you dislike your partners hobbies?

There is a single thing that depends on.

The level at which your partner’s hobby is a part of their life.Let’s put it on a scale from 0 to 10. 0 being no interest or dislike and 10 being people whose lives revolve around their hobby.

 Where does your person lie?

Let’s choose an easy one: anime. Let’s say that you have two potential partners. 

Person A:

This person is a 3 on the life scale. They like anime, they watch it, but that’s it. They don’t care if you watch it with them. They do it in their spare time, and it’s not an integral part of their life. You could mesh well with this person.

BUT

Person B:

This person is an 8.5 on the scale who loves anime. They go to conventions, take pictures with voice actors, cosplay, and plan their time off around convention schedules. A lot of the artwork is anime-related. Not to mention how many of their cups, blankets, sheets, and other houseware items are anime-related. They read manga the second it comes out. And every week look forward to watching the new episodes of the series they love. And they are watching multiple series.

I am not saying that you who dislike this medium couldn’t date person B. I am just asking a question.

Why would you want to?

If you meet a person who dedicates a lot of their free time to something you don’t dislike, how can you enjoy spending time with them without taking them away from something that they love? If you love their passion and how they are, how will you guys enjoy time together? One person, you, or the other person will be giving up time doing something they love to accommodate the other. 

That isn’t abnormal for couples to compromise on some things. But would you want someone to have to comprise on the main things that they love, for you?

Why I don’t suggest it.

So for me liking anime was a non-negotiable. Not one I ever put on a list, but just one that stayed in my head. I would only date those who I could enjoy it with.Let’s start by saying this is one of many activities that I do and enjoy, but this is the only one that I needed a potential partner to also enjoy. Because I want to share the thing I most love with my person.

WHY?

I’ve noticed that some people have strong opinions about certain hobbies they dislike. People that dislike anime, really dislike anime. They call the medium childish, they call the people into it childish, they don’t like what we buy, wear, and think our hobby is a waste of time. And if I spent the amount of time and money that I do with this medium. I don’t see how I could live my life with a person who dislikes the way I live my life.

Remember I did say that a person respecting your hobby is a green flag making a person who will not, a red flag. 

And I must state that sometimes dislike can lead to disrespect but not always. At the same time, I’d rather have someone indifferent than someone who dislikes what I love. 

But people get along all the time who don’t have the same hobbies. 

That’s true, but what you may not be considering is that having different hobbies and interest isn’t the same as someone actively disliking your interest. I know many people in relationships and they tend to have one big thing that they like in common. It may just be one thing, but something similar brings them together.

  Should someone be willing to give up their hobby for their partner? 

Think about the thing that brings you the most joy. Now imagine your partner told you they hate that. But it’s one of your favorite things, that you liked even before you met them. That is so integrated into your life, that you’re not sure what your life would be without it. It’s not who you are, but it’s a big part of what brings you joy. Now imagine not being able to share that thing with the person you love.

What do you do then? 

Honestly, this is why you have to talk with people and get to know them BEFORE you start to date them. Then you won’t have to deal with partners unplugging your PlayStation while you’re playing it, people who feel like your hobby is a childish waste of time , or people who feel like your hobby takes up to much of your time when you could be spending it with them.

I hate to say that the best way to enjoy what you like is finding someone whose interest level is close to yours. Dislike or love hobbies together.

Starting a comic book collection on a budget for beginners Part 3 : Key issues 101

Before starting your collecting you should know about key issues.A key issue is just a comic in which something important happens.

Types of Key issues

1st/2nd/3rd appearance of [fill in character or fill in team]

1st in comic book appearance of [fill in character]

1st Cameo appearance of [fill in character]

1st cover of appearance of [fill in character]

Anniversary Issues

Controversial Issues

Death of [fill in character]

Errors

Final issue of a comic

Iconic Covers

Important Event[battles/suit change/changes of leadership]

Origin of [fill in character]

Key issues are divided into two types Major Keys and Minor Keys. A major key would be the 1st appearance of character a minor key would be a suit change of a character.

BUT

Here’s where things get tricky when value is concerned, though a first appearance will always be a “major key” that doesn’t mean that it will defiantly be worth more than a “minor key”.

Popularity of a character weighs heavily on what has value and what doesn’t. Knowing and predicting what is and will be valuable is what makes collecting difficult and fun.

EXAMPLE:

1 st appearance
Controversial Issue
???????

The first one is X-Men: The End #1 is the 1st appearance of Aliyah Bishop. The daughter of Warbird and Bishop from an alternate timeline. It is not worth as much as Batman Damned #1. Why is it controversial? It is DC’s R-rated label, and they had Bruce was naked and drawn anatomically correct.

BUT

This issue is not worth as much as Adam: Legend of the Blue Marvel #2. This issue is not a key issue, but it is from a comic book series that had a limited run less than 13,000 copies were ever made. So though not a key issue, it is still a rare and valuable comic.

Keys are important but watching for variants and limited series,can be just as important.

Finding Grown Black Joy in Hobbies part 2 : Finding what makes you smile

When I thought about my first post, I realized some people really didn’t get a childhood that gave them a chance to find out what makes them happy. Some of us honestly only know work and the hustle. In between jobs, helping with siblings, there could be a multitude of reasons why you may didn’t have a chance to develop hobbies, so I have suggestions:

Go to a museum or an art exhibit by an artist you aren’t familiar with.

Try some videos games: one RPG, one fighting, and one farming sim ( farming sims are super relaxing).

Try on some anime: watch a few episodes of a shonen, shojo, and a slice of life.

Go to a painting class with your friends.

Dress up and go to a restaurant of a food culture you aren’t familiar with, and then ask the waiter for their suggestion. Trying something new is always fun.

On a sunny day take a journal and go to the park and sketch what you see.

Write down how you feel, add so rhythm, YOU WROTE A POEM! Congrats how does it feel?

Try some card games, something like spades or unstable unicorns.

Many dojo’s/dojangs have the first class for free so try out a martial art, both Taekwondo and Capoeira are super fun.

Go to a pawn shop find a cheap instrument that you always wanted to play. Practice.

Read a comic or start a collection, yeah people still do this.

Read fantasy or historical fiction about Black people. Yes, a lot of modern authors are writing Black historical fiction that doesn’t revolve around racism and pain, it’s great. And seeing magical stories revolving around Black people rather than them not existing is what kid me always looked for.

Find a podcast that teaches you something.

I could go on forever really, but the trick is to learn about yourself. So that you can take care of yourself. And a big part of knowing yourself is knowing things that bring you joy. It could be one thing on this list or all of them.

But knowing is half the battle.

Grown Black Joy meet hobbies

I know one of the biggest things in our community is grinding. Doing what needs to be done so that we can live the life that we want to. For us and our future generations. I love how the community is striving to make generation wealth happen for our children.

It is SO beautiful.

But the thing I have to ask you is, what are you doing just for you, that you enjoy? Even if it doesn’t add a dollar to your bank account. Especially if it doesn’t add monetary value to your life. Are you still doing things that are fun and make you happy? It may sound trivial, even childish but when is the last time you as an adult did something just because you enjoyed it?

It is very easy to make work and your business your life. But it isn’t and while you are building a better life, it’s very easy to just work through and not enjoy the present. When was the last time that you valued your interest?

And if you say your interest is money, then when you get it what are you gonna use it for? If the sole reason behind you getting money is just having it. Most people want to get money so they can enjoy their interests fully, so they can live more freely and do all the things they couldn’t because of finances. One day you could definitely make it big if you dedicate yourself to that business. That is the dream, and I’m not telling you not to strive toward your goals, but to prioritize the present as well. Maybe just take fifteen to thirty minutes a week to do something that you love doing, for the sake of your love for it.

?

So you’re telling me, you don’t have time for fun things. Yeah, I get it, we’re adults some of us have kids, and the day may not have the number of hours we need. I’ve found is that if I purposefully schedule in time for something. I end up doing it. We make time for things we find valuable. And I really want people to find value in their smiles just as they do in the dollar.

Go read that book, try baking that thing, build that Gundam, go live, stream with friends. I don’t know what you like. But you do, so go do that thing that makes you smile.

Because what we forget is that we need balance work shouldn’t be life, and it’s the things we enjoy that make life worth it.

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