Is it really a big deal if you dislike your partners hobbies?

There is a single thing that depends on.

The level at which your partner’s hobby is a part of their life.Let’s put it on a scale from 0 to 10. 0 being no interest or dislike and 10 being people whose lives revolve around their hobby.

 Where does your person lie?

Let’s choose an easy one: anime. Let’s say that you have two potential partners. 

Person A:

This person is a 3 on the life scale. They like anime, they watch it, but that’s it. They don’t care if you watch it with them. They do it in their spare time, and it’s not an integral part of their life. You could mesh well with this person.

BUT

Person B:

This person is an 8.5 on the scale who loves anime. They go to conventions, take pictures with voice actors, cosplay, and plan their time off around convention schedules. A lot of the artwork is anime-related. Not to mention how many of their cups, blankets, sheets, and other houseware items are anime-related. They read manga the second it comes out. And every week look forward to watching the new episodes of the series they love. And they are watching multiple series.

I am not saying that you who dislike this medium couldn’t date person B. I am just asking a question.

Why would you want to?

If you meet a person who dedicates a lot of their free time to something you don’t dislike, how can you enjoy spending time with them without taking them away from something that they love? If you love their passion and how they are, how will you guys enjoy time together? One person, you, or the other person will be giving up time doing something they love to accommodate the other. 

That isn’t abnormal for couples to compromise on some things. But would you want someone to have to comprise on the main things that they love, for you?

Why I don’t suggest it.

So for me liking anime was a non-negotiable. Not one I ever put on a list, but just one that stayed in my head. I would only date those who I could enjoy it with.Let’s start by saying this is one of many activities that I do and enjoy, but this is the only one that I needed a potential partner to also enjoy. Because I want to share the thing I most love with my person.

WHY?

I’ve noticed that some people have strong opinions about certain hobbies they dislike. People that dislike anime, really dislike anime. They call the medium childish, they call the people into it childish, they don’t like what we buy, wear, and think our hobby is a waste of time. And if I spent the amount of time and money that I do with this medium. I don’t see how I could live my life with a person who dislikes the way I live my life.

Remember I did say that a person respecting your hobby is a green flag making a person who will not, a red flag. 

And I must state that sometimes dislike can lead to disrespect but not always. At the same time, I’d rather have someone indifferent than someone who dislikes what I love. 

But people get along all the time who don’t have the same hobbies. 

That’s true, but what you may not be considering is that having different hobbies and interest isn’t the same as someone actively disliking your interest. I know many people in relationships and they tend to have one big thing that they like in common. It may just be one thing, but something similar brings them together.

  Should someone be willing to give up their hobby for their partner? 

Think about the thing that brings you the most joy. Now imagine your partner told you they hate that. But it’s one of your favorite things, that you liked even before you met them. That is so integrated into your life, that you’re not sure what your life would be without it. It’s not who you are, but it’s a big part of what brings you joy. Now imagine not being able to share that thing with the person you love.

What do you do then? 

Honestly, this is why you have to talk with people and get to know them BEFORE you start to date them. Then you won’t have to deal with partners unplugging your PlayStation while you’re playing it, people who feel like your hobby is a childish waste of time , or people who feel like your hobby takes up to much of your time when you could be spending it with them.

I hate to say that the best way to enjoy what you like is finding someone whose interest level is close to yours. Dislike or love hobbies together.

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