If you’re a nerd having problem with finding nerdy women part 1 : How you speak

So I keep hearing it every year some nerd/blerd guy complaining how women don’t date nerds. So I thought I would make some post that might give you some insight into why you can’t find your nerdy woman.Here’s the first reason why nerd women may not want to talk to you.

Question 1: When you see a woman wearing fandom merch, do you immediately feel the need to question her?

Storytime: So I’m a Trekkie(Star Trek fan), and I was wearing my second favorite Klingon shirt when I was going into a store. A guy that worked there felt the need to ask me this: 

“Do you know what TV show your shirt is from? “Can you see the issue here?

He didn’t ask what show my shirt was from, because if he was genuinely curious that’s how you ask. He asked me, “did I know where my shirt was from”. The implication is that maybe I was just wearing a shirt of some random show I didn’t watch. 

What if he was trying to start a conversation?

Then he failed. Utterly failed. Nothing will break a conversation more so than a person feeling the need to question my fandoms. I’ve been watching Star Trek as long as I’ve been watching TV. My first TV crush was Spock. I grew up on TOS, and have watched every series since then. Some of them I’ve watched multiple times, just because I love them that much.

Also licensed merchandise is expensive, like $25 for a shirt expensive. And hoodies, let’s not even talk about the extortion prices they charge.

Question 2: Are you asking her what she’s into, or are you trying to figure out if she’s really a fan?

So you see a girl with an anime background on her phone. How would you respond?

 Here’s an example of how someone responded to a woman after seeing her phone screen.

“Did you just start watching anime or somethin’ ‘”?

The problem a lot of women have to deal with this from almost every fandom, unless it’s a female-orientated fandom. Here’s a list of normal (good) interactions and a list of gatekeeping reactions.

Good responses:

(Sees women wearing OP shirt) I love OP. What do you think of the new animation? Who is your favorite character?

What anime is your favorite?

What are you playing? 

Oh, a romance sim, I’ve never played one before. What’s that like to play?

Dude, I really love your screensaver. What other animes are you into?

Wow, that’s a really dope hoody. I love[fill in anime]. Where did you get it from?

I noticed you’re into anime, what’s your favorite genre?

Bad responses that will automatically make women angry

Do you like anime? Name ten that you like besides[names every mainstream shonen anime ]?

Are you “just getting into anime”?”

You probably only watch [insert show]”because you think [HOT side character] is hot”.

What video games do you like? You play Star Dew Valley and the Sims….(visible disappointment). Those don’t count they are not “real” games.

You’re not really into anime if you haven’t watched [insert popular shonen anime].

The best way to think about it.

If you have never said it to another man. Then you probably shouldn’t say it to a woman. If you feel the need to question a woman’s validity in something she is wearing, doing, or saying you may need to ask yourself why. Why do I feel this way? Do I have a problem with women doing nerdy traditionally male activities? Where do these feelings come from? Do I know how to deal with them versus putting them on someone else?

You might feel like you’d like someone to question fandom knowledge, it gives you a chance to prove yourself. But imagine it was all the time, people constantly making you prove that you are just as competent as them.

Simply speaking if your comment could come off as condescending, just don’t say it. If you’re not sure about how you come off, just ask them to tell you about what they love about their fandom. BUT don’t I repeat, don’t question us about our hobbies. There’s not a right or wrong way to do it.

(Some of the things are “” are real things said to me or other women in groups that I’m in. Sad I know.)

Starting anime for those who want wholesome anime part 4: Monthly Girls’ Nozaki-kun

月刊少女野崎くん

Continuing on with our cute wholesome journey with another wholesome romantic anime.

This one is very different than Kimi no Todoke.

Chiyo only wanted to tell Nozaki that she likes him, but instead, she says that she is his fan, and that’s only where the misunderstandings begin.

He invites her over, but to her surprise, he knew about her artistic talent and wanted her help with his Beta’s for his manga. Turns out that he’s a manga artist for a romantic shojo manga that comes out monthly using a pen name. Though most people don’t realize the author is a male high school student.

Most of his classmates don’t know, not because he’s trying to keep it a secret. But because he’s such a blunt awkward guy, no one believed him when he told them the truth.

Through him, she learns more about the manga-making process and the students in the schools that he’s based his. Hijinks ensue as she struggls to tell him how she feels.

Where to watch it:Netflix

Genre: Slice of life, romantic

Starting anime for those who want wholesome anime part 3: My roommate is a cat

同居人はひざ、時々、頭のうえ

The next on my list of wholesome anime is a very heartwarming story about a boy and a kitten.

Mikazuki is a 23-year-old introvert who DOESN’T want to be around people. He uses a pin name and writes mystery novels. The only people in his life are Yasaka his childhood best friend, and Kawase his editor. Haru is just a kitten. She is trying to take care of herself, and survive in a world that is not the safest place for a kitten.

And on a faithful day, their worlds collide.

Since Mikazuki’s parents died, he has done a good job of not letting anyone get close, but now that he has a kitten in his life. Her presence not only leads more people into his life but even gets him to explore the things of his past.

This anime is one of the few that allows you to see the same scene from the thoughts of both of our main characters.

Where can I watch: Crunchyroll

Genre Tags: Genre Tags: Romance,slice of lifeslice of life

Starting anime for those who want wholesome anime part 2: Kimi ni Todoke

Kinda known as From me to You,君に届け.

For the second in this installation in this series. I give you a cute friendship, romantic anime.

We have our main character Sawako. She looks similar to the ghost girl from the horror movie “The Ring”, and is not so affectionally called Sadako by her classmates. She comes off as scary and is rumored to have the ability to see ghosts and to be bad luck. So she’s never had any close friends, but she is very kind.

Almost everyone avoids her except for the most popular guy in her grade Kazehara. He has always been friendly to her. And from his kindness, she starts to make friends, and her whole world starts to change.

Why so wholesome?

Because of the pure-hearted nature of our main character. She’s sweet, naive, and really wants the best for everyone around her(even when they don’t accept her). It’s hard not to like her and to want to cheer her on.

Where can I watch: Crunchyroll,Hulu

Genre Tags: Romance,slice of life

Starting anime for those who want wholesome anime part 1: Gakuen Babysitters

also know as High School Babysitters, School Babysitter, 学園ベビーシッターズ

This is a great anime for someone looking for something sweet. It has a nice storyline, sweet main characters, and a host of adorable toddlers and the kids in the club who look after them.

And this is a comedy.

Our main characters are Ryuuichi, a first-year in high school( 10th grade), and his quiet brother Kotauru who is a toddler. Their parents die suddenly. Ryuuichi is given an offer by the dean of a prestigious private school. She’ll take care of them and give him admittance to the academy IF he joins the school’s babysitting club.

This was a thing the school established to support the teachers after school. He agrees to join and help get other members.

Hijinks ensue with the toddlers and his shy little brother. Not to mention the friends that he makes over time. It’s only twelve episodes, but it’s cute, warm, funny, and heartfelt.

Where can I watch it: VR and crunchyroll

Genre tags: Slice of Life,Wholesome

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