Greenflags in relationships part 7

People who respect your boundaries.

This post will be specifically about the sexual boundaries a person has. When dating people often encounter issues about people’s boundaries with sex.

Some people don’t want to have sex until marriage, some want to wait 90 days, others have a set amount of dates, and others don’t have a set time at all it’s when they feel it’s the “right time”.

The green flag of this is simply respecting a person’s boundary when it comes to their body. You don’t get to say how someone should use their body. A person who respects another’s boundaries is going to do one of two things. 1.) Accept it and continue dating them or 2.) break up with them.

Yes, break up.BECAUSE.

They respect the person too much to ask them to compromise themselves and their boundaries for them. They wouldn’t want someone to have sex with them because a.) they felt pressured into it or b) they want sexuality to be a big part of their relationship and they don’t want to have someone who isn’t ready for that.

But let’s break down the red flag. Isn’t breaking up too extreme?

Not at all. Breaking up is what mature people do when they hit value roadblocks. Some things we can compromise on to form well-balanced relationships. Sometimes we have to draw our line in the sand. I would say your boundaries and values are something you shouldn’t compromise or feel the need to compromise for a relationship. And anyone worth having wouldn’t ask you to.

I have honest questions that you have to ask yourself if you disagree.

Do you think you have the right to try to redefine what a person has decided to do with their body?

Are you ok with your partner feeling like you forced them into having sex before they were ready?

Would you be ok with knowing your partner only had sex with you because they feared they lose you?

Do you think that just because you are dating someone that you are entitled to sex?

Does your monetary contribution to dates entitle you to the other person’s body? Is dating just a transaction of food to sex to you?

Do you think because a person has had sex or a child they don’t have the right to say when they will have sex again?

Many of those questions are based on conversations I’ve had with people and conversations I’ve heard people have. I also need to say that many people aren’t trying to use sex as a weapon, but they want to give themselves to the right person. Especially if they’ve had a rocky dating history. Men love to say for women need to choose better, and for many setting healthy boundaries is a part of seeing if the person’s the right person for them.

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